10 Signs of a Fake Friend

Friendships are supposed to feel like a safe space. They should bring you comfort, understanding, and people who have your back. 

But not every friend is real – some are “fake friends.” These are the ones who pretend to care, but really, they leave you feeling drained, unsupported, or even betrayed. 

Fake friends often act like they want to help, but over time, you realize they’re only thinking about themselves. 

So, how can you tell if someone is a fake friend? This is something I learned the hard way.

I laughed at jokes that were actually about me, shared secrets that were used against me, and stood by people who never once stood up for me.

These are 10 signs of a fake friend I wish I knew back then. 

1. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

A fake friend will come around when they need something from you – like help with homework, a ride to school, or even just emotional support when things aren’t going their way. 

But when you need them, they’re nowhere to be found. Think about the friend who never hangs out with you unless they want something. 

I used to think it was just coincidence – how they’d show up when they wanted help with a school project but vanish when I was the one needing it.

2. They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

Fake friends often make sneaky comments that make you feel small, even if they try to hide it behind humor. 

This could be a sarcastic comment about how you dress or how you talk. They might even joke about your personal life in ways that hurt.

Let’s say you wear a new outfit, and instead of saying something supportive, a friend makes a passive-aggressive comment like, “Wow, you sure are brave to wear that.” 

They try to pass it off as a joke, but deep down, it’s not funny – it’s a subtle way of putting you down.

3. They Only Care About Being the Center of Attention

This kind of friend loves drama. They make everything about themselves and always want to be the one in the spotlight. 

They don’t care if they make a scene or stir up trouble, as long as they’re the center of attention.

Every time something happens, they turn it into a big story about themselves. 

I remember trying to share that I finally got the courage to perform a song I wrote at a school event. I was nervous but proud. 

But before I could even finish telling the story, they cut me off and started talking about some fight they had with a teacher earlier that day. It left me feeling invisible. It was exhausting… and honestly, kind of selfish.

4. They Gaslight You

Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you into doubting your own memories, feelings, or sanity. 

A fake friend might twist your words or make you feel like you’re overreacting, even when you know deep down they’ve done something wrong.

Let’s say you confront a friend about something they did that hurt you, like spreading rumors. Instead of owning up to it, they say things like, “You’re just too sensitive” or “I never said that, you’re imagining things.” 

This makes you second-guess yourself, which is exactly what a gaslighter wants.

This is also one of the 10 traits of the miserable people.

5. They Don’t Support You in Tough Times

True friends are there when you need them the most – whether you’re going through a breakup, dealing with school stress, or facing bullying. 

Fake friends, on the other hand, are nowhere to be found when you need emotional support. They might even disappear when you’re having a hard time.

You know the saying: A friend in need is a friend indeed.

6. They Only Care About What You Can Do For Them

Fake friends often treat you like you’re only useful to them when they need something. Once they’re done using you, they act like you don’t matter.

There was this one guy who always hit me up when he needed something – copying my homework, borrowing money, asking me to lie to teachers for him. I did it because I thought we were close. 

But then I broke my arm and had to wear a cast for weeks. Carrying my books, opening doors, even just getting through the day was a struggle. 

He never once offered to help. Not even a simple “you good?” That’s when I realized – I wasn’t his friend. I was just someone he used when it was convenient.

7. They’re Always Trying to Change You

Fake friends might push you to change parts of yourself just to fit into their idea of who you should be. 

This could be things like changing the way you dress, act, or talk just to get their approval. They don’t accept you for who you are.

Maybe you’re into a certain type of music like Coldplay or Michael Jackson, but your so-called friend keeps telling you it’s “lame” or not cool.

Instead of embracing what makes you unique, they pressure you to change so you can fit in with the crowd.

8. They Talk Behind Your Back

A huge sign of a fake friend is when they gossip about you when you’re not around. They might act sweet to your face but say horrible things behind your back to others.

Example: Imagine you overhear a friend talking about you to others, saying things like, “They’re so annoying” or “I can’t believe they think they’re so special.” It feels like a slap in the face, especially since they act like your friend when you’re together.

9. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Everyone has boundaries, and real friends respect them. But fake friends don’t care about your limits – they might push you into uncomfortable situations or ignore your need for space.

Example: If you tell a friend you’re not ready to go to a party because you’re dealing with something personal, and they pressure you anyway, that’s a huge sign of disrespect. 

They don’t care about your feelings; they just want to get their way.

10. They Don’t Show Up When They Say They Will

If a friend constantly cancels plans, shows up late, or doesn’t follow through on promises, it’s a sign they don’t value your time. They may pretend to care, but their actions show otherwise.

You make plans to hang out with a friend, but they always bail last minute or show up hours late. Over time, you realize they don’t take your time or feelings seriously, and they’re just not reliable.

How to Deal With Fake Friends?

1. Trust Your Gut: You know deep down if someone is a fake friend. If you’re constantly feeling drained, upset, or unsupported by them, it might be time to walk away. Trust your instincts – they won’t steer you wrong.

You may find it interesting: 4 Ways to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires

2. Set Boundaries: Let them know what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not. If they don’t respect that, you know it’s time to distance yourself.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Care: True friends are there for you, not just when it’s convenient for them. Stick with the people who make you feel good about yourself and support you through thick and thin.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Yourself: Fitting in can feel important, but it’s more important to be around people who accept you for who you really are, not someone you’re pretending to be.

You Deserve Real Friendship

Letting go of a fake friend isn’t easy. It can feel lonely, confusing, even painful at first. But here’s the truth: being surrounded by people who make you question your worth is far lonelier in the long run.

Real friends make you feel safe, seen, and supported – not judged, used, or drained.

If any of these signs hit close to home, maybe it’s time to pause and ask yourself: Is this friendship lifting me up – or wearing me down?

Recognizing the signs is only the beginning. Healing from toxic friendships takes courage, support, and the right tools.

That’s why we created Chaptly App – a safe space where your healing matters. Inside, you’ll find the world’s first gamified toxic abuse recovery program.

In just 90 days, you’ll learn to trust yourself again, set healthy boundaries, and build stronger, more authentic connections.

Ready to walk away from what’s fake and build what’s real?

Join the waitlist now and start your journey toward the friendships you truly deserve.

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